Civilian vs. Military friends

Civilian Friends: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk.
Military Friends: Will post 360 degree security so you don’t get caught.

Civilian Friends: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Military Friends: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up.

Civilian Friends: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
Military Friends: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an EE route.

Civilian Friends: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
Military Friends: Will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn…we fucked up…but hey, that shit was fun as fuck!”

Civilian Friends: Cry with you.
Military Friends: Laugh at you and tell you to put some vagisil on your pussy.

Civilian Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Military Friends: Steal each other’s stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.

Civilian Friends: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
Military Friends: Will low crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.

Civilian Friends: Will listen to your relationship problems and hope it works out for you.
Military Friends: Will listen to you over a long hard road march and will help you straighten it out better than Dr. Phil.

Civilian Friends: Know a few things about you.
Military Friends: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

Civilian Friends: Might try to hit on your girl behind your back.
Military Friends: Have spooned with you in the field more than your girl has, and would never even think about doing that.

Civilian Friends: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.
Military Friends: Will kick the whole crowd’s ass that left you.

Civilian Friends: Would knock on your door.
Military Friends: Walk right in and say, “I’m home!”

Civilian Friends: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
Military Friends: Will man up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.

Civilian Friends: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn’t come.
Military Friends: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.

Civilian Friends: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
Military Friends: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, “Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don’t waste.. That’s alcohol abuse!!!”

Civilian Friends: Want the money back next week they loaned you.
Military Friends: Can’t begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.

Civilian Friends: Will say “I can’t handle Tequila anymore”.
Military Friends: Will say, “Okay just one more,” and then two minutes later, “Okay just one more.”

Civilian Friends: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
Military Friends: Will knock them the fuck out!!

Civilian Friends: Will tell you they’d “take a bullet for you.”
Military Friends: Will actually take a bullet for you.